TPM2012

The Unabridged Guide To The Mitt-isms Of The English Language

Mitt Romney

Whether we have one year, four years or eight years left of Mitt Romney on the public stage, we already know the signature of Mitt Romney’s public persona — the Mitt-ism.

All politicians have gaffes. But Romney’s are of a character all their own.

As a fabulously wealthy man running to be the president of a country that prides itself on its middle class identity, Romney is permanently striving for the common touch while somehow keeping it real about just how different his life is from the average Americans’.

Alas, it’s a balance he has a very hard time striking.

In the now classic model of a Mitt-ism, Romney stumbles his way into a painfully candid expression of what he really seems to think about wealth, privilege and economics. In other cases, his cringeworthy efforts to identify with ordinary folk collapse under the weight of their own preposterousness.

With so many and with the voting now underway, we’ve decided to rate them individually.

1.) “I’m also unemployed” June 16, 2011

A lesser-known Mitt-ism. Trying to commiserate. But not really. Confusing unemployment with being independently wealthy. Not great when unemployment is still at stratospheric levels. Not the most damaging Mitt-ism. We rate this one “tone deaf”, 2 stars.

2.) “Corporations are people, my friend” August 11, 2011

Damaging, yes. Revealing, definitely. Yes, corporate profits all make their way, in one fashion or another, to old-fashioned living, breathing people. And corporations are legal persons. But c’mon. Corporations aren’t people. They’re corporations. This Mitt-ism gets a 5 star for iconic, memorable value. And it even comes with video.

3.) “I’m running for office for Pete’s sake, we can’t have illegals” October 18, 2011

Like the Velvet Underground until the mid-1980s, a hidden classic only well known to specialists and aficionados. Back in the early days of the campaign when Romney was still making his anti-immigration bones with Rick Perry, he slipped into a classically candid Mitt moment when he remembered canning the firm who had illegal aliens working the ground of his property. Fine, use illegals Romney seemed to say. But, Dear God, man, I’m running for office! You know how this works, man!

Destined to remain a cult favorite and never catch on with the masses, it was still deeply revealing. A totally fair hit. We rate it 3 stars.

4.) “I’ll tell you what, ten-thousand bucks? $10,000 bet?” December 10, 2011

You ever made a $10,000 bet? Neither have we.

Mitt got hit pretty hard for this one at the time because it came during the height of the Newt surge when people thought Gingrich might actually bring Romney down. Maybe $10,000 was just a taunt because Mitt knew he couldn’t lose. And even Rick Perry, who has somehow made a bundle during his tenure in office, could manage a $10,000 bet.

So reasonably revealing and a genuine Mitt-ism. But not one of the classics. We rate it a 1.5 stars.

5.) “I like being able to fire people” January 9, 2012

The Mitt-ism that proves the rule. The words purely on their own are about as toxic as you can imagine — especially for Mitt Romney, whose business model as a private equity guy actually is about firing people. Still, Romney was talking about being able to choose or can health care insurers — something a lot of Americans would like to be able to do. Somehow he just stumbled into saying it in the worst possible way. Maybe habits just die hard. Or maybe firing people is fun after all.

Because it clearly wasn’t what he meant and thus it’s not clearly a cluelessly candid statement of actual belief, it doesn’t qualify as a bona-fide Mitt-ism. We rate it 1 stars.

6.) “There were a couple of times I wondered whether I was going to get a pink slip” January 8, 2012

We guess his heart was in the right place. But c’mon, Mitt. Let’s just agree that in the realm of your professional life you’re talented, lucky and basically things have been wall-to-wall awesome. You’ve never had to worry about getting a pink slip. And if you did, the severance package would probably be more than most people make in a lifetime. Now let’s talk about abolishing Obamacare and privatizing unemployment insurance.

This is a classic in the subcategory of Mitt-ism: the hapless and totally uncredible attempt to identify with the problems of average folk. We rate it 3.5 stars.

7.) “It’s for the great middle class - the 80 to 90 percent of us in this country” September 21, 2011

Mitt Romney’s net worth is not public knowledge — and as he’s stated several times, it won’t be public knowledge for as long as he can help it.

But America knows he’s rich. Really rich. Rich enough to be well beyond the 80 or 90 percent of “us” in the country.

Sure, he was talking about the country as a whole, but it came off as crass, and wholly laughable. A solid 2.5 stars.

8.) “I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.” April 5, 2007

This is an overlooked Mitt-ism from the last campaign after Mitt overplayed his hand in trying to identify with the gun rights crowd. After declaring himself a hunter — i.e., common man of the people — Mitt perhaps realized he’d gone too far and tried to put his he-man-ness in context: “I’m not a big-game hunter. I’ve made that very clear. I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will. I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then. More than two times.” The video capture the exquisite awkwardness of a true Mitt-ism.

Use of the word “varmints” alone qualifies this for 3 stars.

9.) “Don’t try and stop the foreclosure process. Let it run its course and hit the bottom.” October 17, 2011

As a solution to the housing crisis, Mitt’s policy frankness wasn’t accidentally revealing or a mistake. A politically unpopular policy statement — even when phrased in an especially tone deaf way — doesn’t meet the rigorous standards for a Mitt-ism. 0 stars.

10.) “Who let the dogs out? Who, who”

This one is a little bonus from the last time the Guy-Who-Never-Wanted-To-Run-For-President was running for president. We’ll let the video speak for itself.

Josh Marshall

Josh Marshall is editor and publisher of TalkingPointsMemo.com.

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beautiful_forever_1961 72 pts

Gawd, what an elitist P...r...i..c..k..Mittens is....

rmwarnick 132 pts

Someone, I forget who, said he would not believe corporations are people until Texas executes one.

Droopster 18 pts

Could not disagree more about #5, Josh. "I like being able to fire people" will be *the* line of the campaign, and it effectively puts an end to Romney's never-good prospects of becoming president.

Bright Lights Big City 64 pts

He takes after his Father. Remember, his father said he had been brainwashed on the Viet Nam war.

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

Bright Lights Big City But his old man was right. What he meant was the military brass tried to sell him a bill of goods about how swell the war was going for the USA.

Bright Lights Big City 64 pts

Mickey Bitsko You are correct, Sir! But, in being truthful it helped sink his campaign.

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

Bright Lights Big City You meant he's linguistically like his father? Mitt doesn't know linguistics from a $400 plate of linguini.

bills8259 64 pts

Im cringing, too. If elected hed be the most awkward president since Nixon. Which is totally irrelevent. I thought the left were the ones arguing that we not base our votes on who we'd most like to hang out and have a beer with? Lets face it, hes only slightly more awkward and robotic then Al Gore (aka- The Gorebot)

Merle Morrigan 438 pts

bills8259 remember his father George was considered for POTUS, but they went with Nixon. Just ponder THAT . the Republicans thought NIXON was a better man for the job than George Romney~

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

MorriganNoregonbills8259 Ponder this -- in the 1968 GOP primaries, Ronald Reagan got more votes than Nixon.

Nandemosan 76 pts

These are exactly why he'll have his ass handed to him by Obama in the debates if he ends up the Rethug nominee. In fact, everyone of the front-runners is prone to this same kind of idiocy, some more than others (take a bow Gov. Perry).

MrRubble 222 pts

Nandemosan Problem is Repukes voted twice for the Clown Prince of Stupid.

bills8259 64 pts

Ummm... Bush had better grades at Yale (where you likely could only have dreamed of going) than John Kerry. He also has a Harvard MBA. Just because he mangled syntax doesnt mean hes stupid. Your thinking so makes me think your stupid, though. BTW- if Republicans are so stupid how come we own everything?

Gene Monroe 7 pts

bills8259 - you own everything because you're Nazis at heart? And Kerry had a 76 average at Yale, the Shrub had a 77. Not exactly a clear victory. But Kerry was recognized as an outstanding orator while attending. What did George do, besides major in alcohol consumption?

Bright Lights Big City 64 pts

bills8259 Bush was rejected by UT School of Law so he he was accepted at Harvard for the MBA. First President with an MBA and didn't know which country to invade.

Sleuth 5 pts

Bright Lights Big Citybills8259 And the MBA sure didn't help him run any businesses. Thank goodness for daddy bailing him out!

brooklynmatt 44 pts

bills8259 Well at least you admit that it's the Republicans, not the Democrats, who are the real party of fat-cat filthy rich elitists.

Camillus 12 pts

bills8259 You don't. It's all mortgaged to the hilt.

VDARE1 30 pts

You left out:"I never imagined that I would be running for President of the United States ... My dear wife was the one that convinced me to run"

~Mitt Romney January 2012

peterprinciple 4351 pts

VDARE1 Mitt: "If you can find a better spouse, buy 'em."

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

The punditial wisdom goes that If Robo-Mitt wins NH, that oughta sew it up for him, or at least kick out all opponents not named Newt or Ron. But is being the obvious winner a good thing for him? In 2008, it was obvious early on that McCain was the winner, and the time between that and the convention took forever in political-time, during which everyone was bored with him, so he had to pick Palin to literally goose the base. And of course he went on to lose by almost 10 million votes. Meanwhile, the president runs a Rose Garden campaign (while delivering rousing speeches to enthusiastic audiences across the country just to stick it to the GOP).

Take my advice, GOP -- draft Silvio Berlusconi or face the trash bin of history!

peterprinciple 4351 pts

@Mickey Bitsko "kick out all opponents not named Newt or Ron"

Ron, of course, is in for the duration -- or the Jonestown-style event with his followers, whichever comes first. And Newt ain't gonna go easy, not with Sheldon's money in his pocket. He thinks he's on a Mission From God to take down Mitt. Although, being Newt, it's more like a Mission From Son of Sam.

MarkDown 444 pts

peterprinciple@mickey Even more epic - Newt's on a mission from Newt.

Nandemosan 76 pts

What we want to hope for, regardless of the nominee, is that Paul, who will not get the nod, runs as an independent. peterprinciple@mickey

peterprinciple 4351 pts

Nandemosan If it would split the Republican vote, I'd root for Jim Jones to run as an independent.

MrRubble 222 pts

peterprinciple@mickey As long as he continues to damage Romney, he could be on a mission from Alfred E Neuman for all I care.

attilatheblond 1154 pts

peterprinciple Extra points for using Newt and Son of Sam together in a sentence. That should go down in the TPM Comments Hall of Fame!

peterprinciple 4351 pts

attilatheblond Dunno about that. Seems a pretty obvious juxtaposition to me.

hoconnor208 2597 pts

I wonder if this will be his last Presidential run if he loses the republican nomination. At some point you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself - they don't want me.

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

hoconnor208 He'll always have Paris, and his money managers. It's good to be rich.

hoconnor208 2597 pts

Mickey Bitsko Sure gives you lots of options without a doubt.

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

hoconnor208 Lotsa stock options.

MrRubble 222 pts

Mickey Bitskohoconnor208 and all those pink slips

peterprinciple 4351 pts

hoconnor208 "At some point you have to look in the mirror and say to yourself -- they don't want me."

Then you go out and buy the company and fire their asses.

aleksh 267 pts

hoconnor208 Being Mitt Romney means never having to acknowledge that the only people who like you are paid to.

Mickey Bitsko 10581 pts

alekshhoconnor208 Works well during primaries, not so well in November.

Bright Lights Big City 64 pts

hoconnor208 He could go on to be the next Harold Stassen.

Newton Whale 11 pts

Mitt forgot the first rule of holes and keeps trying to dig his way out.

Trying to explain when he was worried about getting a pink slip he said:

"I started at the bottom like other freshly minted MBA's... "

So gaffetastic!

awwalk56 51 pts

#11, in 2008 when asked since he endorsed the wars why wasn't any of his 5 sons were in the military supporting the country he respond "they're supporting their country by helping me run for president".

attilatheblond 1154 pts

awwalk56 Spot on! His sons look like they think they are entitled to some dynastic reign or something. That entitlement gene is strong in that clan.

MarkDown 444 pts

awwalk56 I think the full quote was, "They're supporting their country by helping me run for president, for Pete's sake."

aleksh 267 pts

awwalk56 Just like the Fighting Sullivans.

bills8259 64 pts

A dumb question asked by dumb lefties. What she should have said is: "Ask them, they are adults and I cant make them join the military if they dont want to. Perhaps its because they have better options than going to some shithole country on the far side of the world to be shot at. Even given the bonus of being able kill some anti american muslims that doesnt sound like much of a party to me". At least that what I would say because thats why I didnt join the military in '91 to go to the gulf. Too busy partying and getting laid in college.

davidasr 2056 pts

bills8259 Maybe you should have spent a little time working on that tedious "education" thing your mommy and daddy were paying for while you were at it. You could have at least made a small effort towards passing English 101, you'd have more credibility here.

davidasr 2056 pts

bills8259 By the bye, Operations Desert Shield/Desert Storm were not about killing anti-American Muslims and if you were thinking that at the time you must have had your head so far up your ass you'd have had to open your mouth to see daylight. Additionally, hostilities in Desert Storm ended on 28FEB91. Even had you reported to Recruit Training on 01JAN91 you would have still been in boot camp, in any Service, when the shooting was done.

Don't try to bullshit a bullshitter, son.

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